Hasbro Thinks My Boys Are Too Busy for Monopoly Jail

In breaking news today – Hasbro announced they will be removing jail from the Monopoly board.

monopoly-jail1Well, apparently game maker Hasbro has determined that Rex and Judd are just too busy. So in response, they are officially removing jail from the Monopoly board to cut down on the time it takes to play a game.

According to Jonathan Berkowitz, VP of Marketing at Hasbro, “Parents and children tell us they want a quick in and out, frictionless gaming experience.”

Ol’ Johnny didn’t talk to this mom, apparently.

Don’t we want to increase kids’ attention spans, not shorten them? Rex and Judd carry on games of Monopoly that last for days. They’re learning to concentrate, focus, and manage money. If I want them to have a “quick gaming experience,” I’ll teach them how to play blackjack. Oh wait, I already did that.

Anyway, I grew up playing Monopoly with my family and friends. Sure, it spawned plenty of sore sport sulking and an occasional fist fight. But, it wasn’t because the game was too long. It was because it was challenging – just like real life.

Long, not always languid, games of Monopoly taught me much about life. For starters, that it’s a journey and it’s not always fair. Sometimes, you pass go and collect $200, and other times, you get taken to the cleaners by your slumlord friend who has set up hotels on Mediterranean and Baltic. Occasionally, you wind up in the big house!

That’s life.

Without jail, kids are getting a watered down version of the game that won’t teach them about patience and good sportsmanship.

No doubt, the end of an era.

In other news – Hasbro is considering the removal of all X’s and Q’s from Scrabble because they’re too hard to make words with!

Song of the Day: Folsom Prison Blues

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Hasbro Thinks My Boys Are Too Busy for Monopoly Jail

  1. valerie sutherland

    maybe they could call it “time out: Leave the game alone. They already got rid of the iron for crying out loud.

  2. Some people are “too soft” on their children. I feel like they’re setting them up for failure more than anything else. I’ll just buy an older version of the game; Gabby would get a kick out of seeing my game piece stuck on the Jail block for several of her turns, why deny her that experience?? Awesome that you taught your boys how to play Blackjack too!

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